Facing the Scale on Day 1

It’s here! Day 1 of the Weight Loss Challenge.

I have to say that I’m excited. I feel prepared and ready to rock-n-roll. I know it’s not going to be easy…that there will be bumps along the way, but this is truly the beginning of a major change in my life. I can feel it! It’s going to be different this time.  I WILL lose this weight once and for all and so will YOU my friend.

Let’s do it – virtual High-5! πŸ˜‰

Ok…so the scale – back to the scale. I bought a little digital number from Walmart a few days ago. I figure it will be good to see the fractions of a pound. Hey, there are days where 1/2 lb lost is cause for celebration, right?

Drum roll….(I’m hearing the annoying woman from The Biggest Loser’s voice in my head) πŸ˜‰

My starting weight as of January 1, 2007 is exactly 278 lbs.

Errrrr…gulp. Yeah, that’s a pretty big number, isn’t it? I’m not going to dwell on this today – today is a GREAT day – a NEW day…there will be time later to ponder the fact that I have let myself get this heavy…this out of control with my weight. There will be time later to reflect from an emotional place of strength. Today I am moving into a new healthy way of living. This is my goal….to be healthy and fit!

No pressure, but please do feel free to post your starting weight here as well. I really do want us to help support one another in this process and tho we will be starting our journey from different places (weights), our process will be similar and we can not have too many cheerleaders to give us the encouragement that we will need.

So, are you with me?

πŸ™‚

 

Shopping List for Beginning the Weight Loss Challenge

This list includes items that I feel are essential for beginning my Weight Loss Challenge. I’m including those items that I already have in the hopes that it may be useful for someone. These are items that I would plan to need within the first quarter of my plan. I will post updated lists and food ideas as I go along and encourage you to add your own favorites please. πŸ˜‰

Exercise Related:

  • comfortable walking shoes
  • floor mat
  • set of dumbbells (5 lbs to start, working up to 10 lbs)
  • ipod (not essential, but I love listening to something while walking)
  • 8 Minute Ab workout Dvd (will write more about this later)
  • Pilates Dvd (will write more about this later)
  • comfortable walking clothes (sweats, shorts)

Food Related:

  • scale for weighing food
  • measuring cups, spoons
  • notebook for food diary (to count calories)
  • low calorie cookbook(s)
  • calorie counting book

Grocery List:

  • lots of vegetables: lettuce, carrots, cucumber, broccoli, green beans, potatoes
  • lots of fruit: apples (Fugi), bananas, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, kiwi, pears
  • skim milk
  • margarine
  • low calorie (wheat) bread
  • cereal (Shredded Wheat)
  • eggs
  • lunch meat (turkey or ham)
  • cheese (slices, shredded Mexican, parmesan)
  • pasta and pasta sauce
  • rice (I like Basmati)
  • tortillas
  • taco seasoning pack
  • beef (ground sirloin for lowest fat/calories)
  • chicken
  • other meat/protein options
  • low sodium canned soup

That should be good for a start!

 

 

Preparation: What do I need to Begin the Weight Loss Challenge Next Week?

Spiritual:
I commit this challenge and these goals to God. I know that the relationship that I have with Jesus is THE most important piece of my life – with Him I can do all things. I’m frustrated that my physical body does not display a testimony of faith and the power of who Christ is in me. I vow to spend time with God daily and when it gets hard to remember that my body is truly His temple and for me to really be and do everything that He has intended for me, I must get my physical body in alignment with His word.

Emotional:
I am SO ready to do this! I know why I want to do lose the weight and I know that it will be challenging at times. I am committed. I am looking at this as a process and I know that losing over 100 lbs is not going to be fast and it’s not going to be easy. I WILL do it and 1 year from now, there will be so many accomplishments to look back on. I feel that losing the weight is just the beginning of many good things ahead…for me, and for you.

Time Management:
To achieve this weight loss goal. I know that I need to be very committed to a schedule of exercise. At the beginning, it may also be necessary to plan out my meals/calories ahead of time. My goal is not to be fanatical long-term – I don’t want to always HAVE to plan/write everything, but I know that in this beginning stage it is a necessary piece of the discipline that I’ve been lacking. I know that there will be days when I don’t feel like exercising and it is those days where I MUST do it, just because I have committed to it in my calendar/schedule. For this stage, the weight loss challenge MUST be a #1 priority and focus in my life so I need to commit the time it takes daily to make this happen. Since I have the advantage of a flexible schedule and working from home, there is NO excuse for not finding the time to exercise during the day.

Physical:
Where am I at today physically? I’m feeling a bit better than I did a few months ago when the most I could seem to walk at a time was 15 minutes. I just need to remember that I can allow myself to start out slow, with the recognition that I should be diligent about pushing myself each day. I will begin with walking and it’s important to have a comfortable pair of walking shoes. (which I have!)

My Initial Goals:
I will begin my regular process of writing out my goals. I will start with the longer 1 year goal, breaking this down into quarterly, monthly, weekly and then day by day. I will also record this here and encourage you to share your goals as well.

Grocery List:
Tomorrow I am going to make out my grocery list and do a big shop to be sure that my kitchen is filled with healthy food and at least one sweet, (but low calorie) option. I know that if I don’t buy "bad" foods and have them at my home, I won’t be tempted. Not having a car definitely does cut down on the temptation to head to the nearest fast food joint! I also don’t want to completely deprive myself so finding a good sweet option and some other options for things that I like (such as pizza) will be essential to my long-term success.

Ready, Set, GO!!!!!

πŸ™‚

 

What’s the Motivation? Why do I want to Lose the Weight?

If you’ve struggled with your weight at all, you’ve probably read countless books/articles and heard numerous times that it’s important to get to the bottom of the reasons why you want to lose the weight.

I would think that the fact that I am 100+ lbs overweight would be enough in itself, but I want to get real clear about WHY I want this weight off – what are the exact benefits I am aiming for and how will I know when I get there? This will also help me to formulate my goals which can be about things other than actual lbs lost.

So, on to the reasons…

Physical:

  • the realization that I have a difficult time walking 15 minutes is staggering, my body hurts, I get out of breath easily, my back hurts…I can just FEEL the extra weight I am carrying and it IS getting difficult
  • I cannot tie my shoes while sitting (need to stand up and bend over to do it and its hard)
  • public seats can be a tight fit (restaurant, airplane, amusement rides – ugh!)
  • don’t always sleep well
  • general discomfort

Health (actual and potential issues):

  • high blood pressure (I have been on medication for the past 3 yrs or so)
  • depression – lately this has been pretty bad and I feel deep down that so much of it relates to my weight and how I feel about myself
  • been experiencing numbness lately – legs, feet, even face at times – this is really scaring me
  • have experienced anxiety attacks – seriously thought I was having a heart attack until I saw my doctor who diagnosed it (BUT this was something that really brought home that I might be literally killing myself by not addressing my weight issue)
  • I know that my obesity puts me at risk for so many things – I do fear diabetes and this is something that my doctor has really stressed with me as well

Social:

  • I often don’t even care about going out or being around other people – due to my recent move, this has me very isolated at the moment
  • I realize that there are so many negative thoughts going on in my head during times with others – I feel embarrassed of my size…I often just feel that I am taking up too much space – ugh! How awful is that!
  • I’m 37 and single – Yes, I want to meet my future husband – certainly my weight holds me back from this potential as I feel that no one will be interested in me at this weight – not just for the outward appearance, but what it says about my lack of discipline and concern for myself

Emotional:

  • I am such a good "faker" actually – I know how to pretend to be confident and happy when I am in social situations. People would not call me shy and I have no problem meeting people and do like to be in relationship with others. However, this does not match how I am feeling in the inside – it’s time that this confidence comes from the deep inside me!
  • It’s been ages since I’ve been able to shop in a "regular" store. I’m not saying anything negative about my usual Lane Bryant or Avenue for ex, BUT I cannot wait until I can walk into The Gap or Old Navy and buy even their biggest pair of jeans! There are SO many more options available for people that are not overweight.
  • I’m very uncomfortable in the heat especially (and believe me, it is HOT here in NC!). I don’t have the most appropriate clothes – too self conscious of my arms to wear sleeveless. AND I can’t wait to actually enjoy our beautiful beaches here in a swimsuit! I actually love swimming in the ocean and its been ages since I’ve done that also. (because I don’t want to get in my swimsuit in public)
  • Mostly, I would like to think that I’m OK with my singleness, but lately I’ve been crying myself to sleep some nights and if I’m being honest with myself (and you) I’m feeling scared of being lonely…scared that no one will ever love me or want to share their life with me. I know that I really do want this and I want to bring my best to my future husband….this includes the health and confidence that will come from losing this weight. 
  • My other biggest issue right now has to do with finances and debt – I really believe that if I can tackle this weight issue and reach these goals that I will set, that I can then apply the same motivation and focus towards my business and financial goals – eliminating the debt once and for all as well. I think there will be a lot of momentum that will carry over into every area of my life.
  • I don’t know if my depression will be cured with the fitness plan and weight loss. I do believe in my case, that this is a large contributor of how I am feeling mentally and I’m anxious to see how exercising and eating healthy foods will affect my mood. I am forever the optimist actually, so I am believing that in a few months from now things will be much better in this area.

Last, but certainly not least…

Spiritual:

  • It drives me crazy that I feel that my life is not truly a testimony to the power of Christ in me
  • I so believe that my weight issue hinders me (that I hinder me!) from being everything that God intends for me to be
  • I want to bring my best to a relationship that I believe will exist in my future – this includes my health, outward appearance and self esteem
  • I believe that my obesity is a result of a lack of discipline (among other things) and I know that more discipline in my life can only help me to grow spiritually

Please help me Jesus…  πŸ˜‰

What are your motivations for losing weight? Please feel free to post your comments.

Can I Really Do This? The beginning…

My sister (J) and AJ got engaged last month. WooHoo! Wedding date will be June 16 – 6 months away.  They know how much I’ve been struggling with my weight and recently with depression.  Tonight while sitting around the table after dinner, we started talking about the wedding and their fitness/weight loss goals – hey, don’t we all have these dreams when we have special dates ahead of us? πŸ˜‰

I started thinking/talking about how it was for me when my brother got married last year. I wonder if all overweight people feel these feelings of dread when faced with a major occasion? I felt guilty because, tho of course I was happy for them and to be there celebrating with them, there was a lot of talking myself into these feelings. What I was really thinking one week prior to getting on the plane to Illinois went something like this:

  • What on earth am I going to wear?
  • Who hasn’t seen me in awhile and how will they react to my weight gain?
  • How hot will it be and do I have appropriate clothing?
  • How on earth am I going to be able to stand up in front of everyone (with ultra cute sis (M) and sing?
  • Will I fit in the seat on the plane? (hadn’t flown for awhile and last time it was starting to get VERY snug)
  • Will I be so depressed/anxious that my mood will be noticeable – how can I fake my way through this event?

You get the idea….

So back to J and AJ and our talk around the table…IF I really take this seriously now, how much weight could I lose before the wedding? It might be a fun goal…something J and I can talk about/do together as she want to lose a few pounds (not near the weight that I have to lose) herself before the big day.

Hmmmm….I’ve been very inspired by the Biggest Loser lately, and they do manage to lose a ton of weight. I think that I will add these books/videos to my Christmas list and explore this program as an option. Weight Watchers is something that has worked for me in the past, but the 1-2 lbs a week is so slow when you have so much weight to lose. I know this is healthy, but when you have 100+ lbs to lose (Yes, that’s really where I’m at!) perhaps more drastic weight loss can occur. (like with the Biggest Loser contestants)

I’m really going to think about what it would take and mean for me to make this THE big goal for me in 2007. Working from home, I do have a very flexible schedule to work with – I really could focus and get very intense with an exercise program. I also have a gym at my apartment.

Could I lose 50-60 pounds by June? How would I feel at this weight? I would still have a lot to lose, but from experience I know that the act of being in the process can have tremendous effects on how I feel about myself, so I’m betting that I would feel pretty good with that amount of progress.

Ok, for now I am committing to this plan. I HAVE to do this! If not now, when? It’s time to get this weight off once and for all…stay tuned. (and wish me luck!) πŸ˜‰

 

 

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